by Max Barry

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Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,337thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,092ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5,467th
The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of
Capitalist Paradise Corporate Slave State
Everything has its price...
Mr Happy
WA Delegate / The Embassy's Complaints Office
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A Goblinoid Merchant

Population10.113 billion

CapitalMr Happy's Funland
LeaderMr Happy


The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of A Goblinoid Merchant is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Mr Happy with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 10.113 billion Goblinoid Merchants are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mr Happy's Funland. The average income tax rate is 5.0%.

The powerhouse Goblinoid economy, worth 846 trillion GOLDS a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 83,747 GOLDS, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The national sporting identity is represented by a talking burger and a singing smartphone, employees are told they can avoid traffic jams by starting work at 4 AM, the Grasshopper stadiums are open 24/7, and an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. A Goblinoid Merchant's national animal is the Grasshopper, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is CONSUM.

A Goblinoid Merchant is ranked 87,778th in the world and 5th in The Embassy for Most Primitive, scoring -17.32 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,337thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,092ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5,467thHighest Disposable Incomes: 10,343rdLargest Mining Sector: 11,675thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 12,762ndLargest Gambling Industry: 14,201stFattest Citizens: 14,934thLargest Retail Industry: 15,896thHighest Drug Use: 18,033rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 19,380thMost Stationary: 20,395thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20,896thHighest Economic Output: 22,231st
Highest Drug Use: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 2 » Catherine Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau and Lower Slobbovia.

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