by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 29thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 112thLargest Insurance Industry: 207th
The Weed-choked lawn of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Provost of the 45th Magisterium
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population23.358 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-choked lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, complete lack of public education, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.358 billion geriatrics are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Education aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,071 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 345,545 colostomy bags, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,885,564 per year while the poor average 32,434, a ratio of 58.1 to 1.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 73,545th in the world and 1,642nd in The East Pacific for Most Stationary, with 137.20913440832 Days.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 29thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 112thLargest Insurance Industry: 207thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 248thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 325thHighest Disposable Incomes: 417thLargest Agricultural Sector: 564thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 595thHighest Economic Output: 671stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 698thMost Corrupt Governments: 709thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 717thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,032ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,221stHighest Average Incomes: 1,238thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,287thTop
Most Influential: 2,233rdLowest Crime Rates: 2,325thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,405thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,424thLargest Mining Sector: 2,660thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,713thLargest Black Market: 2,877thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,998thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,763rdLargest Populations: 4,246thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,726thFattest Citizens: 6,256thBest Weather: 6,365thLargest Governments: 6,854thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,023rdMost Secular: 8,393rdTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,092ndMost Efficient Economies: 15,107thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 15,441stMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,853rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,162ndHighest Drug Use: 20,761st
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 9th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 12th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 20th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 22nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 27th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 28th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 31st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 31st in the regionLargest Populations: 34th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 37th in the regionLargest Black Market: 52nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 53rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 60th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the regionTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 110th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 112th in the regionMost Influential: 121st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 124th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 139th in the regionFattest Citizens: 165th in the regionLargest Governments: 170th in the regionBest Weather: 180th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 237th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 289th in the regionMost Secular: 309th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 374th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 404th in the regionTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 529th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 552nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 586th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 734th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 794th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 835th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 835th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 335 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Tuvaltastan, Acronis, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Habsburg-Lorriane, Arkantis, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Morrowine, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, CheeseBurrito, Servants of Gizmo, Endertopias, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Stumptopia, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Brethren, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, Abadong, H-Zhena, Eagas, Kario and Nix, AngusEssa, NewBorns333, The United Neo American Union, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, and 285 others.Blobbo, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, Libertanny, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Modra, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Vultuca, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, Asendavia, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, The Big Brain Boys, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Raunch, Bachtendekuppen, The American Free States, Of Centralist Brexit, Coruh, Moszce-Walvard, Amabilis, Technocratic Tagalog, New Leganes, Scostien, Ripsylvania, I-America-I, Goral, Belora Gyles, Virgoliaendorses, The Three States of Fortuna, Peoples Republic of GG, Khadah, Yossito II, RealDealGG1, ParaSymmetry, Aivintis, Rage Mage, Vaskeden, Oofery, Woodsind, Tseriesiscoming, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, The Earth Systems Alliance, Sokala, Arcady-Asclepia, Rohanland, Roissyland, Under Sea Desert, The Atlae Isles, BuciLand, Sycona, Grey Haven of Tauraucania, Filipopol, Equatannia, Flench, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Konouj, Liberstankonia, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Forro Islands, Arkalarius, Kazukiyama, Aeljae, Puelo, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Mercadir, Mamoru, Jakubonia, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Osterreich und Ungarn, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Stellar Colonies, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Shavara, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Calmarya, New Amerindia, XK-Class, Korktopia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, Zanottilandia, Order of the saint Dumas, Phaialee, The Almighty Country, Pureian, Luisagna, Republic of Berzerkistan, Alderaciea, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Songaria, Dratava, Kanadeer, Sheelberite, Firenation91, SecularNorth, Lundenia, Didusland, Kotawia, Federal Republic of Hetacia, West Akhzaristan, Lyontisia, Debluu, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Rythawelerzi, Dracacre, Loyalists Rebel, Forgottan, Drunken Seal Islands, St Guilders Gate, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, Vishwa, Army of Chaos, New South Hope, Wizardonia, Lostwill, The Eternal Land of Jong, Nellie the Dog, The Empire of Rijelv, Danzink, Washingtonian Order, New Pontiac, The Solar Ottomans, The Jamlandias, Dark Edgyness, Kavel, Upper Ellisse, United Dirtpile, New Ailartsua, Social Anarchist State, Harro Waarudho, The Romanum Legio, The Argos Federation, Sen Jast, Bysios, Adavan, New Mainz, Qui sequuntur somnia, Nossepachina, Lilisk, Sancta Pannonia, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Memeenstien, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Terra Occulus, Junnow, Royal Myanmar, Am Echad, Jyzeria, Duracell, ArenaC, Federated States of Zootron, Calbee, Broengtopia, Propwash, Teddington, Rhealaliit, Adolanta, Kirmora, Bynzich, Mvannia, Slongs, Deertia, Ska Hydorordia, The New Tace, Packilvania, Chubaka, Worthless Miracles, Raneve Brusertheatel, Omarci, United Altancian, The Great Imperial States of America, Icelandic Imperium, Gemmena, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, Sansangra, The Militarius Imperium, Icedeath, Dreamersistan, Layngderfleethe, Kyrtizhan, Antserso, Trulu, Monix, Biggstonia, Enou, Skooptropia, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, Lepinja, CopyCato, Izonno, Merkez, Deciduos, Martonica, Jamitri, Tesseratum, Kadjaria, Hentaigoku, Chols Worithopia, San Castillo, Gemlon, Quebec-and-Maritimes, Kristanya, Urimel, Ayaupia, Citergue, Holy Alasia Orozen, Solis Ortis, Centrical Union, Lantros, Neue Leipzig, Bermadia, Kucia, VernKhalla, Iove, JohorRiau, Mensv2, Riveraland, Syriusz, Celiost, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Yasosahan, Dregsburg, LINAM, Noreds Thereneuthene, New Terabithia, Soul Stream, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, EnderShnovia, Galve, West Allastivina, and Chriona.

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