by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 38thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 130th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Apprentice
Commissioner of EPPS | Vizier
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population24.795 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, avowedly heterosexual populace, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 24.795 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,537 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 344,332 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 220th in the world and 6th in The East Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 20,583.37 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 38thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 130thLargest Insurance Industry: 220thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 244thMost Influential: 295thHighest Disposable Incomes: 431stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 588thLargest Agricultural Sector: 644thHighest Economic Output: 688thMost Corrupt Governments: 825thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 839thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,121stHighest Average Incomes: 1,314thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,368thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,483rdHighest Poor Incomes: 1,667thLowest Crime Rates: 2,249thTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2,420thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,626thLargest Black Market: 2,952ndLargest Mining Sector: 3,130thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,501stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,528thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,998thLargest Populations: 4,177thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,386thBest Weather: 5,572ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,710thLargest Governments: 6,941stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,139thFattest Citizens: 7,244thMost Secular: 8,933rdTop
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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,456thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,219thMost Efficient Economies: 16,880thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,654thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,834th
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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Influential: 7th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 10th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 20th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 32nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 33rd in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 43rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 45th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 52nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 59th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 64th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 72nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 75th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 80th in the regionTop
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Most Beautiful Environments: 118th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 121st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 145th in the regionBest Weather: 170th in the regionLargest Governments: 182nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 183rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 184th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 185th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 217th in the regionMost Secular: 302nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 386th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Drug Use: 479th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 493rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 497th in the regionRudest Citizens: 519th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 562nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 621st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 752nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 819th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 515 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, and 465 others.Staynes, Distro-Spartica, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, Roissyland, BuciLand, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Forro Islands, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Korktopia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Luisagna, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Dratava, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Drunken Seal Islands, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, Wizardonia, The Eternal Land of Jong, The Empire of Rijelv, The Solar Ottomans, Upper Ellisse, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, Sen Jast, Adavan, New Mainz, Nossepachina, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Am Echad, Duracell, Federated States of Zootron, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Slongs, The New Tace, Packilvania, Raneve Brusertheatel, Icelandic Imperium, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, Sansangra, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Trulu, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, CopyCato, Merkez, Jamitri, Gemlon, Kristanya, Holy Alasia Orozen, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Riveraland, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, Werglum, Bytes, Socialist Holy American Empire, Survivoristan, Joundia, Konneticut, Kianhua, Vannah, New Liberitad, Dannemarie, Federation of Knights, Techny, Hizuru, British Calradia, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Teocallintzin, Islandian Free States, Greater Frost, The Green Blade, Amerminetos, Aihon, Sunsistan, LIGHT-STARS, Zulkig, Eastern Hyront Scassen, Rhothstan, Rainbow Vests, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Impaxia, Manutina, Conqerica, Pokoreniye, East Peatteo, Pekweng, Ornstein the Dragonslayer, Yuritoria, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Imprisoned Freeman, Generousity, Samaltak True, Canthuria, Greater Emco Uns, Tri Lita, ArenaC, CANZUK 1, Stellar Colonies, Layngderfleethe, Debluu, United Order Republic, Dorles, Soirwren, The Rapubbaland, Monezambique, Yelkinam, Empire of Dabiristan, Serfvarden, Ankras, CheeseBurrito, Wallenburg, Dravida India, Washingtonian Order, Strudelia, Kanria, Monix, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Alttaea, Horn of Havenkaap, Chols Worithopia, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Neptunian Military Administration, Kriov, New American Democracy, Norgsveldet, Serkin, Lebarestan, Concentus, Volinovia, Niveko, Nyanhai, Amabilis, Daenyearly, Gunov, Transoxiana-Tartaria, Wakeopolis, Republoslavia, Cyrillic Peoples, Forktoon, Hitaria, Norna Chitya, United States of Masbate, Pantheropolis, Cacnesia, Coruh, Darkfull, Oofery, Tissandra, Modra, New Bobby, Karatol-Advenra, Tawuse, Kunstistan, Markhor, Wolemoer, Bundes Republic Deutschland, Bergimoret, New Cobastheia, From New World, Albrook, Capave, United States of Calipon, Schelemeketew, Yharkal Bhanek, Granskau, Pizza devil cat, Chalan, Rakshuland, Order of the saint Dumas, Neldas, Farangia, Freedom Fascists, Azeel, Fontesia, Mecsherstein, Bialonia, Tennabroch, Kalaratri, Llan Ava, An Unknown End, Universalius, The Armed Savages, West memes, Harper Isle, Bjournson, United States Of Krauka, Republic of New India, Faid, Moewland, The planet nation, Arunika, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ulvesogullr, Cellar Doors, Roma IV, Ad Honorem Dei, Acronis, Aklevin, ParaSymmetry, Anarchica landia, Nevertopia, Beausylvana, The White Anderlandic Coast, Fradrildrun, The Great Andes, Lanwa, Pagodia, Danelaw Scandinavia, Kingdom of East Russia, South Azerbijan, Gurtistania, Xylapan, Missala, The Cap Country, Liberal European Republic, West Swedania, Jonathan Schmidt, Busto arsizio2, Clarence-Voslage, EHTYCSCYTHE, Zeiberland, Rabarbarys, Vas Andsommy, Vogar, Jamiou, Ze Noobalingas, Harpiatopia, Sundowning, The Former Baltic States, Kilkire, Hellod Immury, 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Biingus, Vorztovia, United Biomes, North Ginger, Vizh, Cafe Hell, Catiania, New Tameside, Zahrontrizzlestan, Greater Novast, Philville2, Cannock Islands, and The Anarchist-Communists.

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