by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 37thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 122ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 143rd
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Eastern Pacific Police Service Commissioner | Vizier
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population25.218 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 25.218 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,624 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 341,996 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 3,898th in the world and 190th in The East Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 7,976.24 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 37thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 122ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 143rdLargest Insurance Industry: 209thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 236thMost Influential: 324thHighest Disposable Incomes: 442ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 582ndHighest Economic Output: 686thLargest Agricultural Sector: 706thMost Corrupt Governments: 833rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 866thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,172ndHighest Average Incomes: 1,388thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,440thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,556thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,628thLowest Crime Rates: 2,260thTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2,420thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,727thLargest Black Market: 3,117thLargest Mining Sector: 3,253rdMost Beautiful Environments: 3,377thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,669thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,898thLargest Populations: 4,172ndBest Weather: 5,186thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,687thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,860thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,874thFattest Citizens: 7,014thLargest Governments: 7,039thMost Secular: 9,073rdTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,884thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,063rdMost Efficient Economies: 16,933rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,693rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 21,001stHighest Drug Use: 23,732nd
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 16th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 21st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 31st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 31st in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 42nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 49th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 57th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 62nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 63rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 72nd in the regionTop
Largest Mining Sector: 86th in the regionLargest Black Market: 93rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 112th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 135th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 145th in the regionBest Weather: 162nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 183rd in the regionLargest Governments: 190th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 190th in the regionFattest Citizens: 193rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 223rd in the regionMost Secular: 316th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 370th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 446th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 497th in the regionRudest Citizens: 501st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 505th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 576th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 633rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 779th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 486 » Brotherland, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, and 436 others.Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Meagharia, Roissyland, BuciLand, West Nagato, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Drunken Seal Islands, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, The Empire of Rijelv, The solar ottomans, Upper Ellisse, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, Sen Jast, Adavan, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Am Echad, Duracell, Federated States of Zootron, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Slongs, The New Tace, Packilvania, Raneve Brusertheatel, Icelandic Imperium, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Trulu, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, CopyCato, Merkez, Jamitri, Kristanya, Holy Alasia Orozen, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, Werglum, Socialist Holy American Empire, Survivoristan, Joundia, Konneticut, Kianhua, Vannah, New Liberitad, Dannemarie, Federation of Knights, Techny, Hizuru, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Islandian Free States, Greater Frost, The Green Blade, Amerminetos, Aihon, Sunsistan, LIGHT-STARS, Eastern Hyront Scassen, Rhothstan, Rainbow Vests, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Impaxia, Conqerica, Pokoreniye, Pekweng, Yuritoria, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Imprisoned Freeman, Generousity, Samaltak True, Canthuria, Tri Lita, ArenaC, CANZUK 1, Stellar Colonies, Layngderfleethe, Debluu, United Order Republic, Dorles, Soirwren, The Rapubbaland, Monezambique, Empire of Dabiristan, CheeseBurrito, Wallenburg, Dravida India, Washingtonian Order, Strudelia, Kanria, Monix, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Alttaea, Chols Worithopia, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Neptunian Military Administration, Kriov, New American Democracy, Norgsveldet, Serkin, Concentus, Volinovia, Daenyearly, Gunov, Wakeopolis, Republoslavia, Cyrillic Peoples, Hitaria, Norna Chitya, United States of Masbate, Cacnesia, Coruh, Darkfull, Oofery, Tissandra, Modra, Karatol-Advenra, Tawuse, Kunstistan, Wolemoer, Bundes Republic Deutschland, New Cobastheia, From New World, Albrook, Capave, United States of Calipon, Schelemeketew, Granskau, Pizza devil cat, Chalan, Rakshuland, Order of the saint Dumas, Neldas, Freedom Fascists, Azeel, Fontesia, Mecsherstein, Bialonia, Tennabroch, Kalaratri, An Unknown End, Universalius, The Armed Savages, West memes, Republic of New India, Faid, Moewland, The planet nation, Arunika, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ulvesogullr, Cellar Doors, Roma IV, Ad Honorem Dei, Acronis, Aklevin, ParaSymmetry, Anarchica landia, Nevertopia, Beausylvana, The White Anderlandic Coast, The Great Andes, Danelaw Scandinavia, Xylapan, The Cap Country, West Swedania, Jonathan Schmidt, Busto arsizio2, Clarence-Voslage, Zeiberland, Rabarbarys, Ze Noobalingas, Harpiatopia, Kilkire, Crucifer, Constervatania, Insolandie, Boooshi, New Terabithia, Blobbo, Asendavia, Crestillia, Kaldrbuth, JosheNation, Middle Pitburn, The Bedford Initiative, Sudarshan, Taapi, Juliania Secundus, Arasakami, Kihara, The Anarchisticly Lost Canadian North, Rocie, Beemunism, Auranoria, THE V0ID, Lakku, Straight Union, Cheriana, Devlon, Lorrana, Endertopias, Pledonia, North Bernia, Adolanta, Nordic Eurasia, Tofoon, Abacas, Cryria, Cisdaniria, Isahaak, Federation Of Columbian Republics, Zukish, Saarsilili, Plaines, Hel Rock, Kasai del Sur, BetterJillTown, LibRight Libertarianism, Anfair, Mid-Land, Zidium, Bekhaulochin, Eastern Alksearia, Meerkat Land, Wolframberg, New Brittannion-Rome, Capitalist Golborne, Fuflix workers union, Dahom, Developing World, Under Upper Antartica, Saladass, The Oan Isles, Severuslavia, Eldi, Ultravisionary Soviets, Great Algerstonia, Martian States of America, Jove Mahmo, Hobbesistan, Macaco Forte, Arcarum, Akorial, Sapre, Can Badia, American-Cascadia, Pernoss, Argentianworkslasia, Yaceistan, Johor DT, Shavara, Obridles, Zwen, Pacifist Cowards, Carates, The Kulaata Islands, Quebec-and-Maritimes, Blobon, Biingus, North Ginger, Vizh, Cafe Hell, Zahrontrizzlestan, Greater Novast, Kendow, Soleil8, Picklonia, La Isla Nueva, Heatherspike, Marimazima, Danares, Catlovenia, Barbadians, Pirnovo, Lueva, Alcasia, Solek, Eagas, Indonesia Soekarnoisme, Technocratic Tagalog, YSG Hermitcraft, Verdiente Heimatlander, Myehn, Preat, Big liver, Sicilianzo, Vessarlian, Eumania, Awestre Gorend, Colyn, ShahdomOirdemAerdwid, Saint Richelieu, WoodFinch, Xestreassau, Eagle Crest, Molaro, Spellsong, New Era states, Hydrohomies, Ozakha, Our Gods, Natgomer, Dutchessionincotania, Phovatian Empire, Sandboxford, The Dracos, Schwarzwalde, Galopas, Nythi, Malphon, Hifau, Seratiago, Darristan, Arkantis, Aquyia, Kozya Gora, DOGEphe, Bermay, Miguelandia, The Holy Empire of Illyria, Northern Celavon, Xuskor, Moofay, Aivintis, Tierra Fuego, Pangea Begins, Maricentria, Veterans Association, Dermsie area, Ravaria, Sacon Stal, Maritim state, Remonatracy, National-Bolshevist Java, Terre Rare, New Arvada, Gnofnordclancedenilland, Eweland, Greater Lessville, Wolvenheim, Getodacii, Wadanca, Omniliberal, Brenodian, Muxxia, Cham Cha, Macedonia and new Franquistan, Arkonstant, The Gaming Clan, The Blue Collar State, Personus, Urandua, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Brickish Federation, PCheezy, Abellus, Greerovand, Free Libertasia, Novitari, Rociela, Nuecom, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, Vaskeden, and Vuclen.

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