by Max Barry

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Largest Cheese Export Sector: 1,737thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,534thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,588th
The Republic of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy
God, Homeland, Liberty
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Absolute communism13

Population2.142 billion

Currencyguilder
Animalgiraffe

The Republic of Absolute communism13 is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its teetotalling pirates, public floggings, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.142 billion Absolute communism13ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 59.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Absolute communism13ian economy, worth 220 trillion guilders a year, is led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Cheese Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 103,061 guilders, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

Only clowns with PhDs from clown college can advise Leader on Absolute communism13's coulrophobia epidemic, Leader wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates, preservative-laden Absolute communism13ian cheeses will be as edible when archaeologists dig them up next millennium, and blood donations have been banned because of the risk of eternal unrest. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem. Absolute communism13's national animal is the giraffe, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Absolute communism13 is ranked 137,074th in the world and 3,989th in the Rejected Realms for Fattest Citizens, with 9.52 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 1,737thTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2,534thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,588thMost Primitive: 3,672ndMost Devout: 5,934thLargest Mining Sector: 6,530thNudest: 6,948thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7,402ndMost Corrupt Governments: 7,792ndLargest Black Market: 8,346thTop
10%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 10,665thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,282ndMost Avoided: 14,457thMost Rebellious Youth: 16,351stMost Subsidized Industry: 16,499thHighest Crime Rates: 19,955th
Top
1%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 44th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Gambling Industry: 112th in the regionMost Devout: 165th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 180th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 180th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 244th in the regionTop
10%
Most Primitive: 310th in the regionNudest: 329th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 350th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 368th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 379th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 381st in the regionLargest Black Market: 386th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 471st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 551st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Absolute communism13 was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Cheese Export Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolute communism13, blood donations have been banned because of the risk of eternal unrest.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolute communism13, preservative-laden Absolute communism13ian cheeses will be as edible when archaeologists dig them up next millennium.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolute communism13, Leader wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolute communism13, only clowns with PhDs from clown college can advise Leader on Absolute communism13's coulrophobia epidemic.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolute communism13, officials pull all-nighters to check immigrants for potential links to terrorists.
  • : Absolute communism13 was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Basket Weaving Sector.
  • : Absolute communism13 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Crime Rates.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolute communism13, the police have been swamped with requests to stay up past bedtime.
  • : Following new legislation in Absolute communism13, fire stations and hospitals can't deploy emergency vehicles because badly parked cars block them in.

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