The Sultanate of Aeuio is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Christopher Hitchens with a fair hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 11.497 billion Aeuioans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hitchens City. The average income tax rate is 38.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Aeuioan economy, worth 324 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Gambling, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 28,245 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's soldiers often believe they're in the Air Force, organ donation is compulsory, the "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance, and it's rare to find an unchewed pencil. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aeuio's national animal is the dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Temple of Vulcan.

Aeuio is ranked 147,307^th in the world and 2^nd in Meditation for Lowest Crime Rates, with 61.24 law-abiding acts per hour.