The Grand Duchy of Alomphmerks is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Grand Lord Ipasi with an iron fist, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.121 billion Alomphmerksians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Spirituality are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. The average income tax rate is 21.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Alomphmerksian economy, worth 474 trillion monies a year, is led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 92,584 monies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Jennifer Government is banned, the government provides its citizenry with the same mass produced rations, the practice of capital punishment proves divisive, and Alomphmerksians struggle to cut steak with a spoon. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Alomphmerks's national animal is the Peasant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Alomphmerks is ranked 264,698^th in the world and 7^th in Dauiland for Lowest Crime Rates, with 42 law-abiding acts per hour.