The Most Orthodox Empire of Americolumbia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Emperor Andrew II Nichols-Gerena with an even hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 21.061 billion Americans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Spirituality, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Holy Washington. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient American economy, worth a remarkable 5,724 trillion Imperial Dollars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 271,788 Imperial Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians, the government spends millions of Imperial Dollars every year prosecuting spammers, some are born loving old plays and some have old plays thrust upon them, and God took rock and roll from you, took rock and roll from everyone. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Americolumbia's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Americolumbia is ranked 123^rd in the world and 1^st in Union of Christian Nations for Lowest Crime Rates, with 273.87 law-abiding acts per hour.