The United Kingdom of Apsalandian Empire is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Biraj Apsalandan Rex with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.797 billion Apsalandian Empireans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Welfare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Apsaland. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 30.2%.

The thriving Apsalandian Empirean economy, worth 144 trillion Apsalandian marks a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 80,182 Apsalandian marks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 283,320 per year while the poor average 16,399, a ratio of 17.3 to 1.

Faithful allies are always valued, a new guerrilla marketing campaign for tap water involves government agents spraying random citizens with hose water, graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail, and criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Apsalandian Empire's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Atheism.

Apsalandian Empire is ranked 162,993^rd in the world and 7,121^st in The North Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 26.71 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.