Population | 22.44 billion |
Capital | The Unyielding Cesspit Of Filth |
Leader | The Executioner |
Faith | Violetism |
Currency | Nuclear Bomb |
Animal | Slug |
The Eternal Misfortune of Askatopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Executioner with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, strictly enforced bedtime, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.44 billion Disposables are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."
The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration are also considered important, while Education and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Unyielding Cesspit Of Filth. The income tax rate is 100%.
The frighteningly efficient Disposable economy, worth an astonishing 14,818 trillion Nuclear Bombs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 660,354 Nuclear Bombs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
Dictionary sales have hit an all-time high, most academic research has ground to a halt, the government is a law unto itself, and city-dwellers are forcibly moved to farming communes in the countryside. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Askatopia's national animal is the Slug, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Violetism.
Askatopia is ranked 112th in the world and 3rd in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Fattest Citizens, with 98.56 Obesity Rate.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, city-dwellers are forcibly moved to farming communes in the countryside.
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, the government is a law unto itself.
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, most academic research has ground to a halt.
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, dictionary sales have hit an all-time high.
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, the government-run newspapers insist that everything is fine.
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, military spending recently hit a new high.
- : Askatopia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Survivors and Rudest Citizens.
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, heroes long thought dead are promptly killed upon their return.
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, it takes all playtime for children to locate their friends among two hundred identical heads.
- : Following new legislation in Askatopia, the recently liberated free press cautiously uses compliment sandwiches to cushion its criticisms of The Executioner.