The Autonomous Community of Ballzia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Dave with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, parental licensing program, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 18.396 billion Ballzians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alcázar. The average income tax rate is 85.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ballzian economy, worth a remarkable 2,997 trillion pesos a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 162,923 pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jennifer Government is a bestseller, in coastal waters there are fifteen salvage divers per dead man's chest (yo ho ho), the nation's smallest Salamanderball teams trade draft picks for a free lunch, and stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence. Crime is totally unknown. Ballzia's national animal is the Salamander, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Ballzia is ranked 32,871^st in the world and 103^rd in United Kingdom for Lowest Crime Rates, with 81.07 law-abiding acts per hour.