by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,775thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,776thMost Devout: 3,236th
The Caliphate of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Allahu akbar!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population4.001 billion

CapitalMadinat Alkabab Altafjir
LeaderHaadid Nahkil Muhssef
FaithSunni Islam


The Caliphate of Besbequistan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Haadid Nahkil Muhssef with an iron fist, and renowned for its ritual sacrifices, enslaved workforce, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 4.001 billion Besbekhs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Madinat Alkabab Altafjir. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 48.3%.

The strong Besbequistani economy, worth 294 trillion medinas a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 73,658 medinas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 434,259 per year while the poor average 5,799, a ratio of 74.9 to 1.

Sweet-toothed Besbekhs have been left penniless by the VAT on candy, sanitary products are sold in brown paper at hairdressers' salons, women who can do math in their head are burned for witchcraft, and the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Besbequistan's national animal is the goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Besbequistan is ranked 183,859th in the world and 4,624th in the Rejected Realms for Most Politically Free, scoring 12.71 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,775thTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,776thMost Devout: 3,236thMost Primitive: 5,343rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,405thMost Conservative: 5,849thFattest Citizens: 5,988thMost Avoided: 8,099thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,978thTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 11,140thMost Corrupt Governments: 11,283rdLargest Black Market: 12,050thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 14,499thLargest Insurance Industry: 14,942ndMost Authoritarian: 16,965th
Most Devout: 69th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 97th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 123rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 146th in the regionFattest Citizens: 161st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 176th in the regionMost Conservative: 180th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 218th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 313th in the regionMost Avoided: 314th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 332nd in the regionMost Primitive: 432nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 515th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 516th in the region

National Happenings

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