by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,488thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,628thMost Devout: 3,211th
The Caliphate of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Allahu akbar!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population3.05 billion

CapitalMadinat Alkabab Altafjir
LeaderHaadid Nahkil Muhssef
FaithSunni Islam


The Caliphate of Besbequistan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Haadid Nahkil Muhssef with an iron fist, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, zero percent divorce rate, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.05 billion Besbekhs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Madinat Alkabab Altafjir. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 48.9%.

The strong Besbequistani economy, worth 222 trillion medinas a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 72,921 medinas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 425,693 per year while the poor average 5,877, a ratio of 72.4 to 1.

The unemployed are quite literally sold to the highest bidder, sweet-toothed Besbekhs have been left penniless by the VAT on candy, sanitary products are sold in brown paper at hairdressers' salons, and women who can do math in their head are burned for witchcraft. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Besbequistan's national animal is the goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Besbequistan is ranked 88,846th in the world and 5th in Council of Islamic States for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 6,516.66 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,488thTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,628thMost Devout: 3,211thMost Primitive: 3,871stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,244thFattest Citizens: 5,650thMost Conservative: 5,779thMost Avoided: 8,103rdTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 9,236thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 10,004thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,368thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,899thLargest Black Market: 12,200thLargest Insurance Industry: 15,768thMost Authoritarian: 16,071st

National Happenings

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