by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Advertisement

Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,753rd Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,683rd Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,358th
The Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
IT HURTS TO BE THIS HIP
LANKY KONG
Influence
Apprentice
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Big Boys Woolies

Population2.726 billion

CapitalTHE RELIGIOUS CITY OF LANK
LeaderLANKY KONG
FaithOF GREEN MAN

CurrencyPOTATO
AnimalTHE YEET MAN OF LANK's NIGHTMARES

The Empire of Big Boys Woolies is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by LANKY KONG with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, compulsory vegetarianism, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.726 billion Big Boys Wooliesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of THE RELIGIOUS CITY OF LANK. The average income tax rate is 74.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Big Boys Wooliesian economy, worth 476 trillion POTATOES a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 174,622 POTATOES, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens compete to guess the time between the royal lady's contractions, school lunches are made with hypo-allergenic wood pulp, fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers, and public shaming is the bedrock of Big Boys Wooliesian society. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Big Boys Woolies's national animal is the THE YEET MAN OF LANK's NIGHTMARES, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is OF GREEN MAN.

Big Boys Woolies is ranked 4,001st in the world and 11th in New Western Empire for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 6,892.12 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,753rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,683rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,358thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,375thLargest Black Market: 3,927thLargest Insurance Industry: 4,001stMost Subsidized Industry: 4,155thLargest Mining Sector: 4,329thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,655thLargest Retail Industry: 4,847thMost Influential: 5,695thTop
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 8,452ndHighest Poor Incomes: 8,530thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,646thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 9,014thMost Efficient Economies: 9,807thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,916thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,137thMost Advanced Public Education: 10,612thLargest Governments: 11,830thLowest Crime Rates: 12,187thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 15,967th
Top
5%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 10th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Insurance Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 11th in the regionLargest Black Market: 12th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 14th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 15th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 18th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 19th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 20th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 20th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 20th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Big Boys Woolies was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, public shaming is the bedrock of Big Boys Wooliesian society.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, school lunches are made with hypo-allergenic wood pulp.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, citizens compete to guess the time between the royal lady's contractions.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order.
  • : Big Boys Woolies was endorsed by The Confederacy of New Jakobly.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, the nation's diplomatic missives are now delivered via sniper rifle.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, policemen want to put the nation's homosexuals up against a wall.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, billions of POTATOES are spent to take high-quality photos of the THE YEET MAN OF LANK's NIGHTMARES Nebula.

More...

View Forum posts

Report