by Max Barry

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Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 598thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,012thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,270th
The Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
IT HURTS TO BE THIS HIP
The Roof Seal
Influence
Truckler
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Big Boys Woolies

Population5.05 billion

CapitalTHE RELIGIOUS CITY OF LANK
LeaderThe Roof Seal
FaithIcarly

CurrencySam
AnimalUNCULTURED SEALS

The Empire of Big Boys Woolies is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Roof Seal with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, ritual sacrifices, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.05 billion Big Boys Wooliesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of THE RELIGIOUS CITY OF LANK. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 92.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Big Boys Wooliesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,131 trillion Sams a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 223,965 Sams, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 662,976 per year while the poor average 59,426, a ratio of 11.2 to 1.

Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade, the arms industry has been shut down in a surge of pacifism, careless Maxémon Trainers have been the cause of numerous search and rescue operations, and organ donation is compulsory. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Big Boys Woolies's national animal is the UNCULTURED SEALS, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Icarly.

Big Boys Woolies is ranked 33,663rd in the world and 19th in New Western Empire for Most Stationary, with 438.05178909112 Days.

Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 598thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,012thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,270thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,383rdLargest Insurance Industry: 1,468thMost Devout: 1,677thTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 2,217thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,259thMost Influential: 2,462ndMost Efficient Economies: 2,736thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,739thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3,448thMost Advanced Public Education: 3,780thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,348thHighest Average Incomes: 4,632ndLargest Mining Sector: 4,673rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,936thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,292ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,204thLargest Governments: 6,210thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,675thLargest Publishing Industry: 7,288thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 8,042ndLowest Crime Rates: 8,056thLargest Retail Industry: 8,427thMost Developed: 9,091stLargest Information Technology Sector: 10,201stTop
10%
Most Avoided: 10,730thLargest Welfare Programs: 11,005thMost Scientifically Advanced: 13,310thHighest Economic Output: 14,679thLongest Average Lifespans: 15,009thSmartest Citizens: 15,556th
Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Black Market: 6th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 9th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 9th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 10th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 14th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 14th in the regionMost Influential: 14th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 15th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 16th in the regionLargest Governments: 17th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 19th in the regionMost Stationary: 19th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 21st in the regionMost Avoided: 22nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 22nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 24th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 24th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 26th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 27th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Big Boys Woolies was endorsed by The Empire of Dobyse.
  • : Big Boys Woolies was endorsed by The Kingdom of Balkan Vojvodina.
  • : Big Boys Woolies voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend The Salaxalans".
  • : Big Boys Woolies voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Standards On Police Accountability".
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, organ donation is compulsory.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, careless Maxémon Trainers have been the cause of numerous search and rescue operations.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, the arms industry has been shut down in a surge of pacifism.
  • : Big Boys Woolies was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • : Big Boys Woolies was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Information Technology Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Big Boys Woolies, both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade.

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