The Paranoid and Crazy of Blasted Craigs is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Chairman Yoric with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ban on automobiles, otherworldly petting zoo, and remarkably easy parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 24.199 billion Blasted Craigsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Megaplexia. The average income tax rate is 1.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Blasted Craigsian economy, worth a remarkable 7,616 trillion Knarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 314,745 Knarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days, royal mothers accustomed to baby-talk assure the troops "we gweatly wespect your service; yes, we do", bilingual Blasted Craigsians are viewed with suspicion, and anti-environmentalist dissidents must beware of government plants in their midst. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Blasted Craigs's national animal is the Blasted Rodent, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Forgotten.

Blasted Craigs is ranked 1,970^th in the world and 131^st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 21,908.4 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.