The Disputed Territories of Blondiesland is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Weese Ritherspoon with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.959 billion Blondieslandians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Environment, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Heart of Blondeness. The average income tax rate is 64.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Blondieslandian economy, worth 189 trillion Dongs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 96,840 Dongs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A bill to outlaw math homework has been submitted, the country is rumored to be a Brancalandian puppet state, school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students, and children must be board certified to append "Jr" to their name. Crime is totally unknown. Blondiesland's national animal is the Beast, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Blondiesland is ranked 228,890^th in the world and 7,498^th in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -273.56 on the Scary Big Number Scale.