by Max Barry

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Most Conservative: 1,542ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,497thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,664th
The Free Land of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
Bongoni is the greatest nation to ever exist
Bogus Binkus
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Bongoni

Population1.612 billion

CapitalBinky
LeaderBogus Binkus
FaithCum

CurrencyBonks
AnimalMosquito

The Free Land of Bongoni is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Bogus Binkus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.612 billion Bongonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Public Transport aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Binky. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Bongonian economy, worth 283 trillion Bonks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 175,650 Bonks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 596,499 per year while the poor average 38,159, a ratio of 15.6 to 1.

Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak, it is said that a Bongonian woman's work is never done, the only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, and the police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bongoni's national animal is the Mosquito, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cum.

Bongoni is ranked 80,906th in the world and 3,542nd in The North Pacific for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 1,342.63 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Top
1%
Most Conservative: 1,542ndTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 3,497thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,664thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,680thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,170thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,661stMost Avoided: 4,994thLargest Mining Sector: 5,028thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,345thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,764thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,895thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,005thLargest Black Market: 6,640thMost Secular: 7,668thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8,000thHighest Average Incomes: 9,011thLargest Agricultural Sector: 9,646thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 9,685thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,140thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 11,712thMost Influential: 12,136thLargest Governments: 17,226thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 17,593rdLowest Crime Rates: 18,127thLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,403rdMost Advanced Public Education: 19,138thMost Developed: 21,103rd
Top
1%
Most Conservative: 101st in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 140th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 146th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 160th in the regionMost Avoided: 163rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 164th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 189th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 231st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 242nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 254th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 266th in the regionLargest Black Market: 276th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 288th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 349th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 360th in the regionMost Secular: 405th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 429th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 431st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 440th in the regionTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 647th in the regionLargest Governments: 852nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 913th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 959th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 959th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 960th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1,008th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, the police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs.
  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, the only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag.
  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, it is said that a Bongonian woman's work is never done.
  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.
  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, atheists on vacation find Cum's scriptures make useful doorstops.
  • : Bongoni was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Conservative and the Top 5% for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, the 3rd Airborne Beekeepers are the most feared regiment in the Bongonian military.
  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, mechanics are often exhausted by their work.
  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, everyone apparently sends Bogus Binkus hair-filled lockets, offers to die heroically, and poetic desires to co-parent a child.
  • : Following new legislation in Bongoni, drug-related crimes carry the death penalty.

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