The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Da Big Kahuna with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, digital currency, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 16.498 billion Caliwogs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Education, with Environment, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astro City. The average income tax rate is 69.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Cali economy, worth a remarkable 1,834 trillion Takoes a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 111,184 Takoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Sick days are on the rise, convicted murderers are free to walk the streets provided they attend rehabilitation classes, burial ceremonies have become as routinised as tax forms, and mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field. Crime is totally unknown. Calistan's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kahunaism.

Calistan is ranked 10,648^th in the world and 325^th in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 85.57 on the Human Development Index.