by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
Candlewhisper Archive was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 235
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 71st Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 156th Fattest Citizens: 162nd
The January Sales of
Capitalist Paradise Corporate Slave State
doo doo doo doo doooo, We're Lovin' It.
Johnny Burger
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Candlewhisper Archive

Population7.34 billion

LeaderJohnny Burger

AnimalSeven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing

The January Sales of Candlewhisper Archive is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Johnny Burger with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, pith helmet sales, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 7.34 billion Archivists are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Education, although Industry, Administration, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Environment and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth a remarkable 2,824 trillion Orbicularis a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 384,814 Orbicularis, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,059,525 per year while the poor average 37,651, a ratio of 54.7 to 1.

No cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor, Candlewhisper Archive Barrier Island residents anxiously await their 'Bridge to Somewhere', the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue", and the comic book series 'Johnny Burger and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Seven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 156th in the world and 2nd in Forest for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 767.93 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 71stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 156thFattest Citizens: 162ndMost Avoided: 170thLargest Retail Industry: 174thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 208thMost Scientifically Advanced: 239thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 240thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 264thHighest Disposable Incomes: 270thRudest Citizens: 310thLargest Information Technology Sector: 351stMost Inclusive: 412thMost Secular: 439thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 496thSmartest Citizens: 535thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 537thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 537thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 593rdHighest Average Incomes: 609thHighest Crime Rates: 814thMost Rebellious Youth: 836thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 851stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,002ndLargest Mining Sector: 1,058thMost Influential: 1,181stLargest Publishing Industry: 1,192ndTop
Most Cultured: 1,624thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,869thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,992ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,010thHighest Economic Output: 3,423rdMost Efficient Economies: 5,205thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,894thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,257thMost Armed: 6,402ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7,442ndTop
Most Pro-Market: 10,359thNudest: 12,712thLargest Black Market: 15,779th
Most Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 7th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 8th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Influential: 8th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8th in the regionMost Secular: 9th in the regionMost Inclusive: 10th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 11th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 11th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 11th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 16th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 18th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18th in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 21st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 22nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 22nd in the regionMost Armed: 22nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 22nd in the regionMost Cultured: 25th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 35th in the region

National Happenings

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