by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 69thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 248thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 285th
The Fat of
Corporate Police State Halliburton
I am fat
fat mario
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

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Captain Lard

Population5.299 billion

CapitalOutKast Hey Ya
Leaderfat mario
FaithOutKast Hey Ya

CurrencyOutKast Hey Ya
AnimalOutKast Hey Ya

The Fat of Captain Lard is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by fat mario with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, otherworldly petting zoo, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 5.299 billion Captain Lardians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of OutKast Hey Ya. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Lardian economy, worth a remarkable 1,429 trillion OutKast Hey Yas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 269,791 OutKast Hey Yas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,485,222 per year while the poor average 2,964, a ratio of 838 to 1.

Many of the poor live from cradle to grave without ever seeing sunlight, mathematicians are gathering an infinite number of OutKast Hey Yas and typewriters to see if they can recreate the works of Max Barry, a typical peasant's life cycle leads from birth to the gallows, and schoolboys trained in chivalry are encouraged to duel other boys for a maiden's hand. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Captain Lard's national animal is the OutKast Hey Ya, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is OutKast Hey Ya.

Captain Lard is ranked 2,531st in the world and 1st in Lardyland for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 9,718.6 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 69thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 248thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 285thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 485thFattest Citizens: 490thMost Avoided: 561stLargest Retail Industry: 850thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 915thMost Secular: 1,031stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,043rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,055thMost Armed: 1,103rdLargest Insurance Industry: 1,175thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,324thLargest Mining Sector: 1,626thRudest Citizens: 1,633rdTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,088thMost Efficient Economies: 2,202ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,531stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,642ndHighest Average Incomes: 2,710thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,976thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,382ndHighest Crime Rates: 3,840thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,897thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,983rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,205thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,251stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,601stLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,569thNudest: 5,999thLargest Black Market: 7,039thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,545thTop
Highest Economic Output: 11,331stLargest Governments: 11,332ndSmartest Citizens: 15,346th
Fattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionNudest: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionTop
Smartest Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Populations: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 4th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the region

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