by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 8thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 700thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,021st
The Substitutiary Locomotion of
Compulsory Consumerist State Consumerist Wage Drones
Skin on skin, let the love begin
Influence
Ambassador
Funslinger
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Captain Woodhouse

Population18.699 billion

CapitalThe Valley of Ashes
LeaderT J Eckleburg
FaithAubrey-Maturinism

Currency$$
AnimalDeath's-head hawkmoth

The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by T J Eckleburg with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, unlimited-speed roads, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 18.699 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. The average income tax rate is 3.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 4,230 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 226,262 $$s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

The Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate, Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room, orthopaedics patients often have a bounce in their step, and those who investigate UFOs tend to wake up delirious on abandoned roads. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 2,502nd in the world and 1st in BLITZKRIEG for Fattest Citizens, with 35.46 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 8thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 700thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,021stHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,377thMost Efficient Economies: 1,488thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,965thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,979thMost Armed: 1,990thHighest Crime Rates: 2,033rdTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 2,102ndMost Corrupt Governments: 2,214thHighest Economic Output: 2,426thFattest Citizens: 2,502ndRudest Citizens: 2,773rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,115thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,441stMost Avoided: 3,770thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,285thHighest Average Incomes: 4,463rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,552ndLargest Publishing Industry: 4,603rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,592ndLargest Black Market: 5,610thMost Cultured: 5,726thLargest Mining Sector: 6,744thMost Secular: 6,747thLargest Insurance Industry: 6,864thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7,500thLargest Populations: 7,588thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,316thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,416thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,613thTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 11,689thLargest Agricultural Sector: 13,912thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 14,514thLargest Governments: 17,086thMost Stationary: 17,992ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 18,538thMost Influential: 20,125th
Top
5%
Highest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, those who investigate UFOs tend to wake up delirious on abandoned roads.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, orthopaedics patients often have a bounce in their step.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, the Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct.
  • : Captain Woodhouse was reclassified from "Capitalist Paradise" to "Compulsory Consumerist State".
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, the entire country is an urban wasteland as the well-to-do commute from space (Captain Woodhouse has found 3 easter eggs).
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, a degree in T J Eckleburg Science with a Minor in Awesomeology starts many political careers.
  • : Captain Woodhouse was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, military training in Captain Woodhouse emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs.

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