The Armed Union of Carinov is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by TsarCarinov with an iron fist, and renowned for its disturbing lack of elderly people, ritual sacrifices, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 30.764 billion Carinovians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of CarinovCity. The average income tax rate is 88.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Carinovian economy, worth a remarkable 5,468 trillion zlotis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 177,764 zlotis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Drill sergeants yell in the ears of bespectacled nerds in cybermilitary "reboot camps", supervisors in Carinov commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence, government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals, and hymns sung by popular choirs top the billboard charts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Carinov's national animal is the steed, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Carinov is ranked 48,101^st in the world and 63^rd in Nederland for Lowest Crime Rates, with 74.73 law-abiding acts per hour.