The Socialist Federation of Cauchistan is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by István Yúgčade with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 2.408 billion Cauchistanis are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Cauchigrad. The average income tax rate is 93.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cauchistani economy, worth 424 trillion Krubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 176,270 Krubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians no longer click with dating app matches, t-shirts displaying a photo of István Yúgčade performing the Full-Monty are selling out, children spend all morning taking out a comma and all afternoon putting it back in again, and elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-Kruble mansions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cauchistan's national animal is the Wild Rock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Cauchistan is ranked 12,116^th in the world and 41^st in Europeia for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 10,100.86 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.