by Max Barry

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Highest Poor Incomes: 268thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 401stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 426th
The NationStates Monster Jolly of
Psychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship
Lucky moo
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population6.815 billion



The NationStates Monster Jolly of Celannica is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Santa with an iron fist, and notable for its avant-garde cinema, infamous sell-swords, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.815 billion Celans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Celannica. The average income tax rate is 96.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Celan economy, worth a remarkable 2,527 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 370,865 Golds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, the typical murderer weighs 150kg and has hairy arms, and 4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celannica's national animal is the Cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Urthium.

Celannica is ranked 78,674th in the world and 3,637th in The East Pacific for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 2,243.65 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.

Highest Poor Incomes: 268thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 401stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 426thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 478thLargest Black Market: 570thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 594thMost Subsidized Industry: 850thHighest Average Incomes: 974thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,222ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,347thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,353rdMost Corrupt Governments: 1,379thMost Armed: 1,720thMost Avoided: 1,998thTop
Largest Mining Sector: 2,333rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,480thLargest Governments: 2,617thMost Efficient Economies: 2,722ndLowest Crime Rates: 2,766thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,842ndMost Developed: 3,440thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,480thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,689thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,050thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,297thHighest Economic Output: 5,358thSmartest Citizens: 5,924thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,935thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,005thLargest Retail Industry: 8,347thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,886thMost Authoritarian: 9,162ndLargest Publishing Industry: 9,535thLargest Agricultural Sector: 10,100thTop
Most Influential: 11,907thMost Secular: 13,430thLargest Welfare Programs: 17,294thMost Cultured: 17,307thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 18,136thMost Conservative: 19,740thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,920th
Largest Black Market: 8th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 9th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 15th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 18th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 24th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 27th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 30th in the regionMost Avoided: 33rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 33rd in the regionMost Armed: 38th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 47th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 56th in the regionLargest Governments: 64th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 65th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 67th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 71st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 86th in the regionTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 90th in the regionMost Developed: 100th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 124th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 147th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 157th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 162nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 228th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 238th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 243rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 245th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 260th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 306th in the regionLargest Populations: 320th in the regionMost Cultured: 442nd in the regionTop
Most Secular: 478th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 480th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 504th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 555th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 592nd in the regionMost Influential: 598th in the region

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