by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Public Transport: 7thMost Patriotic: 12thLargest Black Market: 19th
The Armed Republic of
Psychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship
Dílis go Bás
Donn
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Celtician

Population24.391 billion

CapitalTech Duinn
LeaderDonn
FaithThe Order of Donn

CurrencyOricalcum
AnimalWolf

The Armed Republic of Celtician is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Donn with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, sprawling nuclear power plants, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 24.391 billion Celts are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tech Duinn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Celticianian economy, worth an astonishing 20,712 trillion Oricalcums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 849,180 Oricalcums, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children playing with walkie-talkies are told to 'get a job', those who investigate UFOs tend to wake up delirious on abandoned roads, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes, and police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celtician's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Order of Donn.

Celtician is ranked 240th in the world and 8th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 351.02 quips per hour.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 7thMost Patriotic: 12thLargest Black Market: 19thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 21stLowest Crime Rates: 22ndHighest Poor Incomes: 22ndLargest Governments: 31stHighest Average Incomes: 32ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 33rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 43rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 45thMost Corrupt Governments: 46thHighest Average Tax Rates: 47thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 51stMost Advanced Public Education: 56thMost Subsidized Industry: 77thHighest Economic Output: 88thLargest Information Technology Sector: 137thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 154thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 157thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 229thSmartest Citizens: 240thMost Efficient Economies: 395thLargest Publishing Industry: 502ndMost Devout: 809thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 953rdLargest Mining Sector: 1,071stMost Cultured: 1,181stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,241stMost Beautiful Environments: 1,253rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,709thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,977thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,980thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,545thTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 3,826thHealthiest Citizens: 3,890thMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,206thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,919thMost Stationary: 5,027thMost Authoritarian: 5,843rdLargest Populations: 5,873rdHighest Food Quality: 6,947thMost Influential: 12,801stTop
10%
Most Developed: 13,441stMost Conservative: 22,567thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 22,791st
Top
1%
Most Patriotic: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 7th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 8th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 12th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 12th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 23rd in the regionMost Devout: 36th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 43rd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 44th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 44th in the regionMost Cultured: 49th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 59th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 71st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 81st in the regionMost Stationary: 88th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 102nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 128th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 153rd in the regionLargest Populations: 157th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 164th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 181st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 189th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 195th in the regionMost Extreme: 201st in the regionMost Influential: 291st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 343rd in the regionTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 677th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, those who investigate UFOs tend to wake up delirious on abandoned roads.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, children playing with walkie-talkies are told to 'get a job'.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, trespassers entering Donn's office are immediately vaporized.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, nerdy teenagers have to prove that they're made of the same stuff as their grandparents.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, it is illegal to make racist remarks in public.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Tech Duinn Natural History Museum.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Celtician.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtician, a new "thought police" branch is being developed.

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