The People's Republic of Ciggie Smallistan is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Ixus with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 4.273 billion Ciggie Smallistanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of OOO-FS. The average income tax rate is 74.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Ciggie Smallistanian economy, worth 521 trillion ISKS a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 122,073 ISKS, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction, nations that kill a Ciggie Smallistanian can expect a strongly worded letter, churches across the land are hurriedly installing auto-tune for their choirs, and the nation has an international reputation for compassion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ciggie Smallistan's national animal is the Rat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Hammerite.

Ciggie Smallistan is ranked 18,465^th in the world and 1,236^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 91 law-abiding acts per hour.