The Republic of Colonalia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Tamara Stewart with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, parental licensing program, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 11.925 billion Colonalians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Port Sutherford. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Colonalian economy, worth a remarkable 1,966 trillion Cons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 164,935 Cons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cases of disease among the civilian population dwindle as civilian population dwindles, vast amounts of energy are expended moving water to hilltop lakes, court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point, and election results are often delayed for weeks to count the expat votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Colonalia's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Colonalia is ranked 3,361^st in the world and 5^th in Spiritus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 127.02 law-abiding acts per hour.