The Devastation of Cro Magnon is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a council of Dons with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, keen interest in outer space, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.475 billion Cro Mags live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, liberal, outspoken individuals is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, although Education is also considered important, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Fire Pit. Income tax is unheard of.

The all-consuming Cro Magnon economy, worth a remarkable 1,224 trillion shiny stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Soda Sales industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 84,598 shiny stones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, closed universities are currently being converted into MacDonald's restaurants, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, and Humongo-Mart's Beef 'n Woolly Mammoth Lasagne is a hit. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cro Magnon's national animal is the Woolly Mammoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Darkesianism.

Cro Magnon is ranked 6,613^th in the world and 185^th in the West Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 125.23 Insults Per Minute.