The Free Land of Cucutenium is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Bastian I with a fair hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, ubiquitous missile silos, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.497 billion Cucutenians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Toplita. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 19.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Cucuteniumian economy, worth 204 trillion stones a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 136,290 stones, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 396,428 per year while the poor average 37,067, a ratio of 10.7 to 1.

Whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of Cucuteniumian Embarrassments, orange is the new black for judicial robes, the welfare administration's new sweeping authority has forced the poor and needy to shop from pre-approved grocery lists, and internet searches for the inventor of the three-wheeled steam-powered Cucuteniumian weed picker are way up. Crime is totally unknown. Cucutenium's national animal is the Honey Badger, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cucutenium is ranked 25,189^th in the world and 753^rd in the South Pacific for Healthiest Citizens, with 9.15 bananas ingested per day.