The Theocracy of Cultural Astolfism is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Astolfo with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 4.115 billion Astolfists enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Astolfist economy, worth 852 trillion Loves a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 207,062 Loves, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians demand do-overs when they don't agree with election outcomes, there have been reports of people marrying housepets, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the tightness of border controls in Cultural Astolfism leave a little to be desired. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Cultural Astolfism's national animal is the Hippogriff, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Astolfism.

Cultural Astolfism is ranked 7,346^th in the world and 172^nd in the Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 107.4 law-abiding acts per hour.