The No queen blues of Dert is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Dertus Maximus with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, avant-garde cinema, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.517 billion Dertians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of choogachooga. The average income tax rate is 52.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Dertian economy, worth 500 trillion bitcoins a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 90,669 bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Video evidence of cruel animal experiments tends to be of poor quality, it turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage, state media insists that Dertus Maximus is the most fashionable leader in Balder, and the nation's favourite colour is purple (Dert has found 1 easter egg). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dert's national animal is the data miner, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cream cheese.

Dert is ranked 105,458^th in the world and 5,366^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 65.23 law-abiding acts per hour.