by Max Barry

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Highest Poor Incomes: 1stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd
The Despotic Dictatorship of
Corrupt Dictatorship Well-Meaning Dictatorship
God was a dream of good government.
The Despot
Influence
Dealmaker
Founder
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Nuke Control Cards

Despoticania

Population35.269 billion

CapitalDespoticania Prime
LeaderThe Despot
FaithChurch of Transcendental Hatred

CurrencyDespollar
AnimalWinged Unicorn Pig

The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, vat-grown people, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 35.269 billion Despoticanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 40,864 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,158,645 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government snoops on private internet connections, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets, and requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions. Crime is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 582nd in the world and 4th in The Alliance of Dictators for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 14,303.94 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Poor Incomes: 1stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 2ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rdLargest Black Market: 3rdHighest Average Incomes: 4thSmartest Citizens: 4thHighest Economic Output: 6thMost Advanced Public Education: 8thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 10thMost Efficient Economies: 12thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 13thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18thMost Patriotic: 22ndMost Subsidized Industry: 24thMost Secular: 34thMost Cultured: 40thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 44thLargest Agricultural Sector: 49thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 70thLargest Governments: 92ndMost Corrupt Governments: 105thMost Developed: 126thLongest Average Lifespans: 138thLowest Crime Rates: 170thMost Armed: 174thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 199thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 222ndLargest Retail Industry: 248thLargest Mining Sector: 260thMost Stationary: 333rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 342ndHighest Food Quality: 378thLargest Publishing Industry: 397thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 529thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 582ndHealthiest Citizens: 1,000thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,045thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,619thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1,674thLargest Populations: 1,822ndTop
5%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 2,893rdMost Influential: 3,178thLargest Welfare Programs: 5,863rdRudest Citizens: 7,914thMost Income Equality: 9,870thMost Rebellious Youth: 10,030thMost Valuable International Artwork: 10,140thMost Authoritarian: 10,680thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11,999thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 18,000th
Top
1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionMost Income Equality: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Largest Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 4th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 5th in the regionTop
10%
Most Rebellious Youth: 8th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, the government snoops on private internet connections.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, the might of the entire Despoticanian Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, nobody thinks that the Godfather was bettered by Part 2.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, it is common to still see adults with training wheels on their bikes.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, many marriages go virtually unconsummated.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, not showing enough enthusiasm for mutual assured destruction is a court-martial offence.

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