by Max Barry

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Highest Poor Incomes: 1stMost Scientifically Advanced: 1stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd
The Despotic Dictatorship of
Psychotic Dictatorship Fascist Dictatorship
God was a dream of good government.
The Despot
Influence
Dealmaker
Founder
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Despoticania

Population32.287 billion

CapitalDespoticania Prime
LeaderThe Despot
FaithChurch of Transcendental Hatred

CurrencyDespollar
AnimalWinged Unicorn Pig

The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, vat-grown people, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 32.287 billion Despoticanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 34,787 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,077,447 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation leads The Alliance of Dictators in per capita stalking, rumour has it The Despot needs a calculator to multiply ten by ten, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, and wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them. Crime is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 2nd in the world and 1st in The Alliance of Dictators for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 46,210.64 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Poor Incomes: 1stMost Scientifically Advanced: 1stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 2ndLargest Black Market: 4thHighest Average Incomes: 6thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7thSmartest Citizens: 9thHighest Economic Output: 11thMost Advanced Public Education: 11thMost Efficient Economies: 13thMost Subsidized Industry: 16thMost Secular: 22ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 23rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 32ndMost Cultured: 41stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 42ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 80thLargest Agricultural Sector: 104thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 105thLargest Retail Industry: 115thMost Corrupt Governments: 133rdLargest Governments: 133rdLargest Mining Sector: 171stMost Developed: 191stMost Armed: 204thLongest Average Lifespans: 213thLowest Crime Rates: 321stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 349thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 376thMost Stationary: 389thLargest Publishing Industry: 570thHighest Average Tax Rates: 794thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,592ndHealthiest Citizens: 1,832ndMost Rebellious Youth: 1,863rdLargest Populations: 1,897thTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,822ndMost Influential: 2,985thMost Avoided: 3,964thMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,780thRudest Citizens: 6,899thMost Authoritarian: 7,171stMost Income Equality: 8,579thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,622ndLargest Welfare Programs: 11,416thTop
10%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 16,070thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,789thMost Inclusive: 22,719th
Top
1%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Populations: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionMost Income Equality: 8th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 11th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 11th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, rumour has it The Despot needs a calculator to multiply ten by ten.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, the nation leads The Alliance of Dictators in per capita stalking.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, buses are widely regarded as the safest way to travel.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, military barracks resemble five-star hotels.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, you can check out of an asylum if you've changed your mind.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, postcards from Despoticanian driving test centres are popular souvenirs.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, religious people are committed to mental institutions for treatment.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, people are more interested in gossip about the private lives of politicians than their policies.

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