The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, vat-grown people, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 35.269 billion Despoticanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 40,864 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,158,645 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government snoops on private internet connections, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets, and requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions. Crime is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 582^nd in the world and 4^th in The Alliance of Dictators for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 14,303.94 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.