The Protectorate of E-I-E-I-DOH is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Homer with an iron fist, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 22.264 billion Homers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Springfield. The average income tax rate is 69.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient E-I-E-I-DOHian economy, worth 787 trillion Minoan tala a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 35,350 Minoan tala, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight, the government has taken a 'sort it out yourselves' approach to fighting malaria, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, and Homers are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. E-I-E-I-DOH's national animal is the Little Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

E-I-E-I-DOH is ranked 89,124^th in the world and 3^rd in Island for Lowest Crime Rates, with 67.3 law-abiding acts per hour.