Population | 36.874 billion |
Capital | The Lair |
Leader | His Supreme Eminence |
Faith | Oppression |
Currency | Slave |
Animal | Gila Monster |
The Exalted Supremacy of East Borland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by His Supreme Eminence with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, aversion to nipples, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 36.874 billion East Borlandists are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Lair. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient East Borlandian economy, worth an astonishing 32,644 trillion Slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is a breathtaking 885,285 Slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,247,427 per year while the poor average 42,282, a ratio of 147 to 1.
Many are questioning His Supreme Eminence wearing an Eckie-Ecola baseball cap during a keynote speech, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, fur coats have become the latest fashion trend, and women who leak pus from infected wounds are told to suck it up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. East Borland's national animal is the Gila Monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Oppression.
East Borland is ranked 6th in the world and 1st in The Alliance of Dictators for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 109,148.34 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, women who leak pus from infected wounds are told to suck it up.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, fur coats have become the latest fashion trend.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, many are questioning His Supreme Eminence wearing an Eckie-Ecola baseball cap during a keynote speech.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, both criminals and civilians are DOA.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, the nation's entire cultural heritage is being auctioned off to the rich.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, mandatory spouse selection pairs elderly apparatchiki with stunningly beautiful supermodels.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, artists regularly face criminal charges and art-burning parties are common.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, His Supreme Eminence often plays real life games of Tower Defense against hordes of angry villagers.