Population | 36.369 billion |
Capital | The Lair |
Leader | His Supreme Eminence |
Faith | Oppression |
Currency | Slave |
Animal | Gila Monster |
The Exalted Supremacy of East Borland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by His Supreme Eminence with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 36.369 billion East Borlandists are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Lair. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient East Borlandian economy, worth an astonishing 32,036 trillion Slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is a breathtaking 880,884 Slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,075,378 per year while the poor average 45,285, a ratio of 134 to 1.
People say that smog must be good for you because of its healthy green colour, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines, the government's suicide hotline now redirects callers to local tax lawyers, and official Sermon-Free Zones are set-up around the nation's hotels. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. East Borland's national animal is the Gila Monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Oppression.
East Borland is ranked 232,362nd in the world and 107th in The Alliance of Dictators for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 1.25 Tourists Per Hour.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, official Sermon-Free Zones are set-up around the nation's hotels.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, the government's suicide hotline now redirects callers to local tax lawyers.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, people say that smog must be good for you because of its healthy green colour.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, the term "Native East Borlandist" has been redefined as anyone with the same skin color as the majority.
- :
East Borland was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts.
- : Following new legislation in
East Borland, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia.