The Federal Republic of Elwin is a massive, orderly nation, notable for its public floggings, national health service, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 4.962 billion Elwinians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 17.2%.

The strong Elwinian economy, worth 307 trillion Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 61,908 Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Nudity is frowned upon, minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home, small businesses are gobbled up almost daily by corporate giants, and people eagerly queue days at A&E to wait for their free healthcare. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low. Elwin's national animal is the Swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Elwin is ranked 129,624^th in the world and 541^st in Europeia for Most Valuable International Artwork, with zero Bank.