The Republic of Epsteinlandia is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its frequent executions and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, democratic population of 279 million Epsteinlandians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 7.0%.

The very strong Epsteinlandian economy, worth 20.4 trillion Evans a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Gambling, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 72,988 Evans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

The Epsteinlandian Intelligence Agency has put 'Project Quantum Refrigerator' on hold indefinitely, neon signs promoting safe driving often distract drivers, Epsteinlandia has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories, and the government has spent days debating the merits of a petition calling for a ban on sporks. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low. Epsteinlandia's national animal is the Unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Epsteinlandia is ranked 54,217^th in the world and 2^nd in The Empire of Donevania for Best Weather, with 114 Meters Of Sunlight.