Population | 22.651 billion |
Capital | יְרוּשָׁלַיִם |
Leader | Benjamin Satanyahu |
Faith | Satanism |
Currency | שקל |
Animal | gazelle |
The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, otherworldly petting zoo, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 22.651 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.
The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, although Defense is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 18,479 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 815,818 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,610,176 per year while the poor average 7,735, a ratio of 983 to 1.
New homeowners go furniture hunting with crowbars, wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts, vegetables are crisper thanks to CRISPR, and citizens wouldn't recognise Benjamin Satanyahu if they passed one another on the street. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.
EretzIsrael is ranked 10,761st in the world and 587th in The North Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 89.01 quips per hour.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, citizens wouldn't recognise Benjamin Satanyahu if they passed one another on the street.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, vegetables are crisper thanks to CRISPR.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, new homeowners go furniture hunting with crowbars.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, a commonwealth of equal nations recognises that EretzIsrael is a bit more equal than the others.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, motorcycle riders are required to wear so much gear they've been nicknamed "Stay Pufts".
- :
EretzIsrael was reclassified from "Anarchy" to "Corporate Bordello".
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, citizens complain about a burning sensation after bathing.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, machine-peeled candied grapes come in individual packaging for the busy commuter.