by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 2ndLargest Retail Industry: 4thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th
The Walled Cities of
Corporate Bordello Blood-Sucking Capitalist Leeches
בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

EretzIsrael

Population20.884 billion

Capitalיְרוּשָׁלַיִם
LeaderBenjamin Satanyahu
FaithSatanism

Currencyשקל
Animalgazelle

The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and renowned for its closed borders, smutty television, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 20.884 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 16,321 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 781,544 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,290,414 per year while the poor average 7,410, a ratio of 983 to 1.

The EretzIsraelian military is limping towards victory, Benjamin Satanyahu is famed for giving great back rubs, the nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny, and the government funds private schools for intellectually gifted children. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 7th in the world and 1st in The North Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 1,928.62 kickbacks per hour.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 2ndLargest Retail Industry: 4thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6thFattest Citizens: 6thMost Corrupt Governments: 7thMost Avoided: 8thLargest Gambling Industry: 10thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 12thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12thMost Secular: 16thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 17thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 20thHighest Disposable Incomes: 22ndLargest Insurance Industry: 33rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 35thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 40thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 45thHighest Average Incomes: 49thMost Armed: 50thMost Efficient Economies: 50thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 58thHighest Crime Rates: 60thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 65thMost Scientifically Advanced: 67thLargest Mining Sector: 73rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 75thHighest Economic Output: 147thLargest Agricultural Sector: 164thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 203rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 654thLargest Information Technology Sector: 898thMost Pro-Market: 1,824thTop
5%
Most Stationary: 3,422ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,740thLargest Governments: 3,930thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,157thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5,088thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 5,616thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,933rdLargest Populations: 7,189thLargest Black Market: 8,256thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,185thTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 11,714thMost Influential: 11,782ndLargest Publishing Industry: 11,853rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,519thHighest Drug Use: 17,663rd
Top
1%
Most Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 6th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 25th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 52nd in the regionTop
5%
Most Stationary: 80th in the regionLargest Populations: 107th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 153rd in the regionLargest Governments: 214th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 238th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 241st in the regionLargest Black Market: 304th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 315th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 341st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 364th in the regionTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 479th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 600th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 639th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the government funds private schools for intellectually gifted children.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, Benjamin Satanyahu is famed for giving great back rubs.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the EretzIsraelian military is limping towards victory.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, blue sky thinkers are reminded that the firmament is actually more of a grey-ish colour.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, tourists are flocking to the newly-built MeteorLand family resort.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, colonists who were promised new lands find only war-torn devastation.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, students in EretzIsrael's schools rarely attend their classes.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, flags are commonly used as bonfire kindling.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the nation's countrysides are littered with landmines due to ongoing family disputes.

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