by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 6thMost Armed: 63rdHighest Crime Rates: 66th
The Christmas Planes of
Corporate Bordello Blood-Sucking Capitalist Leeches
EternalDamNation!!!!!!11!1!?one1!!!
Influence
Sprat
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Eternal Dam Nation

Population5.222 billion

CapitalNonya Damn Business Conglomerate
Leaderdickolas
Faithi don't give a damn

Currencydamns
AnimalCow

The Christmas Planes of Eternal Dam Nation is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by dickolas with a fair hand, and remarkable for its public floggings, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 5.222 billion bois are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nonya Damn Business Conglomerate. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Eternally Damned economy, worth a remarkable 1,913 trillion damns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 366,504 damns, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,390,330 per year while the poor average 3,841, a ratio of 882 to 1.

Fire stations and hospitals can't deploy emergency vehicles because badly parked cars block them in, there's a lot of hot air coming from the Capitol Building, elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates, and vats of anabolic steroids are being dumped into the ocean to make Eternally Damned mussels the biggest in the Rejected Realms. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Eternal Dam Nation's national animal is the Cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is i don't give a damn.

Eternal Dam Nation is ranked 1,068th in the world and 29th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 14,363.14 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 6thMost Armed: 63rdHighest Crime Rates: 66thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 72ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 79thLargest Retail Industry: 83rdFattest Citizens: 107thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 132ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 180thMost Avoided: 182ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 193rdMost Rebellious Youth: 314thHighest Disposable Incomes: 344thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 600thLargest Gambling Industry: 683rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 989thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,001stHighest Average Incomes: 1,028thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,068thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,180thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,253rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,341stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,342ndLargest Mining Sector: 1,661stMost Pro-Market: 1,880thTop
5%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,141stLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,388thMost Secular: 2,894thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,141stLargest Insurance Industry: 3,417thNudest: 5,886thLargest Agricultural Sector: 6,470thSmartest Citizens: 6,538thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7,069thHighest Economic Output: 7,884thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,193rdTop
10%
Most Politically Free: 12,794thMost Inclusive: 12,818thMost Efficient Economies: 14,182ndHighest Drug Use: 15,424thLargest Black Market: 17,062nd
Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 8th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 8th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 13th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 14th in the regionMost Avoided: 15th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 17th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 20th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 28th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 29th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 31st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 33rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 39th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 45th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 45th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 47th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 54th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 60th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 62nd in the regionMost Secular: 96th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 111th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 148th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 156th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 162nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 177th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 189th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 198th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 221st in the regionMost Politically Free: 228th in the regionMost Inclusive: 249th in the regionNudest: 256th in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 401st in the regionMost Extreme: 437th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, vats of anabolic steroids are being dumped into the ocean to make Eternally Damned mussels the biggest in the Rejected Realms.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, there's a lot of hot air coming from the Capitol Building.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, fire stations and hospitals can't deploy emergency vehicles because badly parked cars block them in.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, government ministers sport new billboards that read 'Will Trade Votes for Private Members' Bill Support'.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, half the Eternally Damned Army consists of Brasilistani contractors.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, financial investors are noting a boom in artillery.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, claiming that "my cousin said it was legal" is a common courtroom defense.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, people talk about things being better when men were men.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Dam Nation, the government's only official statement on the burning down of Nonya Damn Business Conglomerate was that 'they shouldn't have been so careless'.

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