by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,640thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,016thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,429th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Anarchy Post-Revolution Embryonic Society
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population14.281 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, national health service, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.281 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,475 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 2,585th in the world and 22nd in Europeia for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 7,155.86 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,640thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,016thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,429thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,585thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,218thMost Efficient Economies: 4,290thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,615thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,796thMost Stationary: 4,905thHighest Economic Output: 6,056thMost Cultured: 6,269thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,918thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,388thSmartest Citizens: 8,205thLargest Gambling Industry: 9,600thHighest Average Incomes: 9,654thNudest: 10,015thMost Influential: 10,270thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,908thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 10,974thTop
Fattest Citizens: 12,028thMost Developed: 14,581stMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,652ndMost Politically Free: 15,386thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,441stLargest Populations: 16,869thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,226thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,838thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,216thLargest Insurance Industry: 21,192ndMost Inclusive: 22,428thMost Extreme: 22,788thHighest Poor Incomes: 23,240th
Highest Drug Use: 5th in the regionMost Politically Free: 7th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 10th in the regionMost Stationary: 12th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 13th in the regionMost Extreme: 17th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 22nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 28th in the regionNudest: 30th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 32nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 36th in the regionTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 41st in the regionFattest Citizens: 43rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 44th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 46th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 51st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 54th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 54th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 55th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 55th in the regionLargest Populations: 60th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 74th in the regionMost Armed: 75th in the region

National Happenings

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