by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,582nd Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,709th Largest Publishing Industry: 2,342nd
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Anarchy Post-Revolution Embryonic Society
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population9.946 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.946 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 35.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 1,710 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 172,001 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 94,147th in the world and 607th in Europeia for Nicest Citizens, with 11.33 Average Smiles Per Day.

Highest Drug Use: 1,582ndTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,709thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,342ndMost Efficient Economies: 3,881stMost Extensive Civil Rights: 4,055thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,206thMost Politically Free: 4,592ndMost Subsidized Industry: 4,752ndMost Rebellious Youth: 5,132ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,358thMost Stationary: 6,104thNudest: 6,107thMost Cultured: 6,249thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,482ndHighest Economic Output: 6,849thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,993rdSmartest Citizens: 7,581stLargest Gambling Industry: 7,643rdFattest Citizens: 7,938thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 8,644thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,920thMost Extreme: 10,102ndMost Developed: 10,196thMost Influential: 11,148thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,188thRudest Citizens: 13,136thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,792ndMost Advanced Public Education: 14,615thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,095thMost Armed: 15,377thLargest Insurance Industry: 15,483rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,026th
Highest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 7th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 22nd in the regionMost Stationary: 23rd in the regionNudest: 24th in the regionMost Extreme: 33rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 36th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 38th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 39th in the regionFattest Citizens: 42nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 52nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 62nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 67th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 68th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 69th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 69th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 71st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 72nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 73rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 80th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 84th in the regionLargest Populations: 89th in the regionRudest Citizens: 89th in the regionMost Cultured: 93rd in the region

National Happenings

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