by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,699thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,085thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,474th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Anarchy Post-Revolution Embryonic Society
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population14.808 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.808 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,566 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 102,917th in the world and 253rd in Europeia for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 2,317.34 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,699thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,085thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,474thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,630thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,334thMost Efficient Economies: 4,456thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,662ndMost Rebellious Youth: 4,839thMost Stationary: 4,844thHighest Economic Output: 6,025thMost Cultured: 6,386thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,207thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,381stSmartest Citizens: 8,476thHighest Average Incomes: 9,969thNudest: 10,044thLargest Gambling Industry: 10,168thMost Influential: 10,196thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,279thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,618thTop
Fattest Citizens: 12,410thMost Developed: 14,899thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,903rdMost Politically Free: 15,545thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,546thLargest Populations: 16,772ndMost Advanced Public Education: 17,608thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,754thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,458thLargest Insurance Industry: 21,887thMost Extreme: 22,684thMost Inclusive: 22,836thHighest Poor Incomes: 23,219th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionTop
Most Politically Free: 8th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 9th in the regionMost Stationary: 12th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19th in the regionMost Extreme: 23rd in the regionNudest: 27th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 28th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 29th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 33rd in the regionTop
Fattest Citizens: 44th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 45th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 52nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 54th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 54th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 55th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 56th in the regionLargest Populations: 61st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 61st in the regionMost Armed: 62nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 68th in the region

National Happenings

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