The Barnes-Free Conglomerate of Ewing Oil Co is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by John Ross Ewing Jr with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, infamous sell-swords, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 28.077 billion Oilers are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dallas. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Oiler economy, worth an astonishing 24,802 trillion Petrodollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is a breathtaking 883,381 Petrodollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,499,776 per year while the poor average 18,751, a ratio of 400 to 1.

Warfare increasingly resembles a video game, the country routinely whitewashes uncomfortable parts of its history, the nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts, and kissing cousins produce the heartiest babies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Ewing Oil Co's national animal is the Budweiser Ferret, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Holy Capitalism.

Ewing Oil Co is ranked 99,783^rd in the world and 99^th in Texas for Highest Drug Use, scoring 66.8 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.