The Holy Empire of Giraten is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its prohibition of alcohol, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 351 million Giratenians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sadchinra. The average income tax rate is 74.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Giratenian economy, worth 20.0 trillion Gits a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,992 Gits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire, the Giratenian Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances, children grow up long before the paperwork for their lemonade stands can be sorted out, and tardiness has increased after carpooling was classified as a criminal offense. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Giraten's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Giraten is ranked 18,018^th in the world and 238^th in 10000 Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 82.26 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.