The Hidden Undergound Lair of Gnomewatchers is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Gnomad with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 24.119 billion Gnomes are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gnomeria. The average income tax rate is 79.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gnomeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,476 trillion crowns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,678 crowns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

A fashion designer has been arrested for inciting hatred after claiming redheads couldn't pull off vermillion, selling your granddad's clothes requires an incredible amount of paperwork, banning party poppers has been a real party pooper, and warfare increasingly resembles a video game. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gnomewatchers's national animal is the garden gnome, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Gnomewatchers is ranked 6,532^nd in the world and 355^th in The North Pacific for Most Secular, with 97.33 Atheism Rate.