by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 5thMost Advanced Public Transport: 8thLargest Welfare Programs: 26th
The Great Scientific Polity of
Left-wing Utopia Utopia
We Don't Get Mad, We Get Stabby
Eminence Grise
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Greater Cuba is researching a cure.

Survival Rate:0.00%

Greater Cuba

Population30.995 billion

CapitalNueva Havana
LeaderChe Castro

Animaldik dik

The Great Scientific Polity of Greater Cuba is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Che Castro with a fair hand, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, national health service, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 12.779 billion Cubans, 12.778 billion of whom are zombies, are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nueva Havana. The income tax rate is 100%.

The all-consuming Greater Cuban economy, worth a remarkable 8,439 trillion Roubles a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 272,297 Roubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, the recital of citations that follows any political speech can be longer than the speech itself, arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct, and more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Greater Cuba's national animal is the dik dik, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Greater Cuba is ranked 224,410th in the world and 65th in USSR for Most Avoided, scoring 0.16 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 5thMost Advanced Public Transport: 8thLargest Welfare Programs: 26thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 41stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 49thLargest Governments: 102ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 114thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 167thSafest: 196thMost Advanced Public Education: 200thMost Beautiful Environments: 214thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 238thMost Pacifist: 249thLowest Crime Rates: 332ndMost Subsidized Industry: 383rdBest Weather: 498thMost Influential: 593rdHighest Economic Output: 649thLongest Average Lifespans: 706thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 802ndHighest Poor Incomes: 858thSmartest Citizens: 951stMost Stationary: 1,201stMost Dead: 1,324thHealthiest Citizens: 1,477thLargest Populations: 1,959thMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,016thNicest Citizens: 2,017thMost Zombies: 2,080thTop
Most Cultured: 2,681stHighest Average Incomes: 2,688thMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,694thMost Inclusive: 2,700thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3,108thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,241stLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,512thMost Developed: 7,325thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8,536thTop
Most Secular: 14,783rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,158thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 19,280thMost Income Equality: 20,180thMost Politically Free: 21,061st
Most Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionSafest: 2nd in the regionMost Stationary: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Free: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionTop
Smartest Citizens: 4th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 4th in the regionMost Survivors: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionMost Dead: 5th in the regionMost Zombies: 5th in the regionLargest Populations: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 6th in the region

National Happenings

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