by Max Barry

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Smartest Citizens: 14th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 17th Highest Poor Incomes: 22nd
The United States of
Left-wing Utopia Utopia
For my clan
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Greater Somalia

Population32.418 billion



The United States of Greater Somalia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Mareexaan with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, rampant corporate plagiarism, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 32.418 billion Somalis are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The relatively small, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mogadishu. The average income tax rate is 87.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Somali economy, worth an astonishing 16,042 trillion Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an amazing 494,870 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets, and therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads. Crime is totally unknown. Greater Somalia's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is none.

Greater Somalia is ranked 502nd in the world and 9th in The East Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 12,753.72 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Smartest Citizens: 14thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 17thHighest Poor Incomes: 22ndLargest Publishing Industry: 26thMost Cultured: 38thLeast Corrupt Governments: 58thMost Rebellious Youth: 63rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 65thSafest: 86thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 94thMost Secular: 102ndHighest Economic Output: 105thMost Scientifically Advanced: 134thMost Developed: 200thMost Pacifist: 212thHighest Average Incomes: 231stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 232ndLongest Average Lifespans: 251stMost Inclusive: 263rdMost Efficient Economies: 291stMost Beautiful Environments: 325thMost Stationary: 386thLargest Governments: 441stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 502ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 576thMost Income Equality: 617thHealthiest Citizens: 670thLargest Populations: 965thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,006thLowest Crime Rates: 1,056thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,773rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,197thLargest Retail Industry: 2,706thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,757thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,916thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,647thTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 9,176thMost Influential: 9,452ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 10,264thLargest Welfare Programs: 14,070th
Highest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 2nd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 3rd in the regionMost Stationary: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Developed: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 4th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 4th in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionMost Pacifist: 6th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 8th in the regionLargest Populations: 9th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 12th in the regionMost Income Equality: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 15th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 16th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 21st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 33rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 42nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 43rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 54th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 79th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 105th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 202nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 209th in the regionTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 329th in the regionMost Influential: 536th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, the moral worth of national allies is judged by their GDP.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, there's never enough space in space.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes.
  • : Following new legislation in Greater Somalia, marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home.


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