by Max Barry

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Largest Mining Sector: 5thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7thMost Corrupt Governments: 10th
The Holy Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors
For the blessed nation!
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Haedlia

Population17.171 billion

Currencynewcoin
Animalyellow jacket

The Holy Empire of Haedlia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its enslaved workforce, free-roaming dinosaurs, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.171 billion Haedlians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Haedlian economy, worth an astonishing 12,855 trillion newcoins a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 748,692 newcoins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,459,290 per year while the poor average 170,928, a ratio of 14.4 to 1.

Homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them, organ donation rates have hit a new low, people who have had childhood imaginary friends are told they can't ever be trusted with guns, and most citizens in Haedlia are abject pyrophobes after extremely graphic pamphlets were mailed nationwide by the government. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Haedlia's national animal is the yellow jacket, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Haedlia is ranked 701st in the world and 21st in the West Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 377.83 Insults Per Minute.

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1%
Largest Mining Sector: 5thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7thMost Corrupt Governments: 10thMost Devout: 12thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 14thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 21stMost Ignorant Citizens: 28thLargest Insurance Industry: 32ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 36thMost Avoided: 38thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 51stLargest Black Market: 54thHighest Average Incomes: 61stMost Primitive: 75thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 97thMost Subsidized Industry: 114thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 131stLowest Crime Rates: 201stFattest Citizens: 216thMost Efficient Economies: 219thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 239thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 255thHighest Economic Output: 260thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 289thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 318thLargest Governments: 327thRudest Citizens: 701stHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,234thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,746thTop
5%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,476thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,500thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,791stMost Stationary: 3,086thMost Conservative: 5,927thTop
10%
Largest Populations: 12,126thMost Influential: 12,172ndLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 13,251stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,486thMost Authoritarian: 15,056thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,594thLargest Retail Industry: 21,764th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionFattest Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionRudest Citizens: 21st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 25th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 27th in the regionMost Stationary: 31st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 47th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 50th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 58th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Populations: 84th in the regionMost Conservative: 199th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 276th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Education: 376th in the regionMost Influential: 382nd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 462nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 487th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 522nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, most citizens in Haedlia are abject pyrophobes after extremely graphic pamphlets were mailed nationwide by the government.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, people who have had childhood imaginary friends are told they can't ever be trusted with guns.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, organ donation rates have hit a new low.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, the banshee wail foretells skies of death.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, glassy-eyed Haedlian wives lifelessly chant "I love you" on command.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, it is firmly believed that cameras steal souls.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, Haedlian companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation.
  • : Following new legislation in Haedlia, the "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance.

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