by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 302ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 334thMost Influential: 363rd
The I totally didn't CTE'd of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy
Sleep and sleep a lot!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

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Holy Free

Population5.548 billion

LeaderTrinal XI


The I totally didn't CTE'd of Holy Free is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Trinal XI with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, compulsory vegetarianism, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.548 billion Holy Freeans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lordinia. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Holy Freean economy, worth 619 trillion Freeses a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Furniture Restoration, Retail, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 111,601 Freeses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, teenagers stay out into the wee hours of the morning "stargazing", torture is commonly used to extract information from suspected criminals, and spotted owl meat is used as bait to lure wolves into traps. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Holy Free's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Holsanism.

Holy Free is ranked 33,654th in the world and 1,036th in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 45.71 quips per hour.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 302ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 334thMost Influential: 363rdMost Advanced Public Education: 2,106thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,350thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,589thTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 3,362ndMost Subsidized Industry: 3,401stLargest Black Market: 5,767thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,830thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,737thBest Weather: 7,418thNudest: 7,487thMost Secular: 7,726thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,059thMost Beautiful Environments: 10,012thHealthiest Citizens: 11,509thMost Developed: 11,601stTop
Largest Governments: 14,846thMost Efficient Economies: 19,121stHighest Poor Incomes: 24,943rd
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 11th in the regionMost Influential: 12th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 58th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 61st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 64th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 74th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 78th in the regionLargest Black Market: 105th in the regionTop
Nudest: 156th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 189th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 190th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 193rd in the regionBest Weather: 234th in the regionMost Secular: 263rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 322nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 350th in the regionMost Developed: 364th in the regionLargest Governments: 413th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 477th in the regionTop
Highest Economic Output: 575th in the regionLargest Populations: 636th in the regionMost Patriotic: 704th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 758th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 778th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 855th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 919th in the regionMost Cultured: 955th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 960th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1,005th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1,036th in the region

National Happenings

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