The Eternal Misfortune of Iguanarctica is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 21.328 billion Iguanarcticans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Port Cosa. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Iguanarctican economy, worth a remarkable 9,336 trillion Reptilias a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 437,744 Reptilias, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches, planespotters are emigrating in droves, and the "feminist protest" defence is increasingly common for cases of armed robbery. Crime is totally unknown. Iguanarctica's national animal is the Iguana, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Iguanarctica is ranked 1,149^th in the world and 6^th in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Lowest Crime Rates, with 166.12 law-abiding acts per hour.