The Universal Commonwealth Unity of Ipugao is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Apu Aliguyon Kinggauan nak Gatui with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, otherworldly petting zoo, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 2.464 billion da Ypugaw have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Education are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kiyyangan. The average income tax rate is 77.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ypugaw economy, worth 494 trillion Pihhu and Friendships a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 200,883 Pihhu and Friendships, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The only things written in the stars are arrest warrants for astrologers, conscripts often volunteer for a second tour of duty so they can get a ticket to next year's Army Revue, the nation is regarded as a paragon of democracy, and most political debates are settled with fistfights. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ipugao's national animal is the Vampire Dog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Apuism.

Ipugao is ranked 10,788^th in the world and 331^st in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 89.39 quips per hour.