The Democratic Federation of Kahlenberg is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Prime Minister Lena Mallström with a fair hand, and remarkable for its national health service, daily referendums, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 20.208 billion Kahlenberger are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ebell Town. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Kahlenbergian economy, worth a remarkable 4,118 trillion Kronars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 203,824 Kronars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Worried-looking neonatal nurses are being deployed in place of SWAT teams during dangerous drug busts, election results are often delayed for weeks to count the expat votes, they say that Kahlenberger made a dessert and called it peace, and political parties are banned from advertising and receiving private donations. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kahlenberg's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Kahlenberg is ranked 2,666^th in the world and 141^st in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 134.25 law-abiding acts per hour.