The Free Land of Kalaratri is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Stjepan Filipović with a fair hand, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, keen interest in outer space, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.276 billion Kalaratrianins are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Užupis. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kalaratrianian economy, worth 540 trillion Kelantanese dinars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 164,888 Kelantanese dinars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Young soldiers are shocked to discover there are no 'safe spaces' on a battlefield, over a third of the seats in sports stadiums have been removed to make room for female-only commodes, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, and freedom is never freely given — only when the alternative is too expensive. Crime is totally unknown. Kalaratri's national animal is the Rattenkönig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Eternalux.

Kalaratri is ranked 140,338^th in the world and 5,406^th in The East Pacific for Most Average, scoring 32.02 on the Average Standardized Normality Scale.