The Republic of Kelsyth is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Lena with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 5.792 billion Kelsythians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alnelenora. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Kelsythian economy, worth a remarkable 1,492 trillion Korunas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 257,755 Korunas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing, and tourists visit Kelsyth to mass-moon Kelsythian politicians. Crime is totally unknown. Kelsyth's national animal is the Hippogryph, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Truacism.

Kelsyth is ranked 139,770^th in the world and 5,389^th in The East Pacific for Most Average, scoring 32.12 on the Average Standardized Normality Scale.