The United Socialist States of Kholdan is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Zghuk Whitescull with a fair hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, humorless population of 19.095 billion Kholdanians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Welfare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Administration isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kholdan City. The average income tax rate is 82.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Kholdanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,796 trillion Marks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 94,082 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience, the nation faces constant invasions by foreign boy bands, for the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs, and scientists are researching the best way to kill off humanity to prevent catastrophic war. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kholdan's national animal is the Osprey, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Gallifreyan mysticism.

Kholdan is ranked 111,055^th in the world and 3,261^st in the South Pacific for Most Valuable International Artwork, with zero Bank.