The United Commonwealth of Kinegiener is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by King Dovy Jucevičiu I with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 10.058 billion Lithuanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Vilnius. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Lithuanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,099 trillion Litas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 208,714 Litas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present, the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population, and drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kinegiener's national animal is the Iron Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Romuva.

Kinegiener is ranked 1,257^th in the world and 8^th in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Lowest Crime Rates, with 162.16 law-abiding acts per hour.